Monday, June 27, 2005

Thoughts on friendship

So in recent pondering I've come up with the following categories for friendships. A bit rough but most relationships can conform mainly to one of these groupings.

Casual convince.
The friendships where you like the person more than a stranger and they feel likewise. You probably don't know them well and the only reason you interact is it is convenient and thus you greet each other with a smile and use the word friend because you know each other beyond the point of acquaintance and its a positive interaction. These are often in class friends and work friends who you won't keep in touch with when moving on- but for the moment why not have a quick conversation before moving on?

Wishful thinking.
Those people you like and they tolerate; the unbalanced relationship where you want it to be a friendship and thus use the word. Meanwhile they probably think its casual convenience and wonder why this word is being used and why you're still there when they move on. These unbalanced relationships often come just as casual friendships do- the difference being one person is pushing it farther and the other won't budge and sees no reason to.

Doing Friends
These are the people you do things with. You go out and see movies, bowling, rock climbing... whatever floats your boat. Boating works too. These are people you may or may not agree on when it comes to politics or general values but you find them a pleasure to be around and they say the same. Thus you do things and enjoy company for the sake of having a good time. Often times the past is irrelevant and the future only a vague thought- there's things to be doing so why bothering thinking?

Thinking Friends
These are more often the people you talk to when there's a problem, bitch about politics to and enjoy other such intellectual activity. These friendships are often stagnant in terms of the action but are rich and depth filled in the thinking behind it and if that floats your boat these friendship provide a much deeper enjoyment than just doing- however there is little action. These people talk and discuss and debate and relate to each other- but beyond that can often remain in separate spheres. Think the online friends who you talk to about everything... they probably fit here. Often times these people have heard about the past, the future and the current and can find the connections between the three and they understand much better but they don't apply their understanding into action.

Living friends.
The most versatile bunch. These people both do and think and often combine the two. However they're often unsatisfied with too much of either one as one is too dynamic and one too stagnant. They want variety to mix things up and make things interesting which can make them unpredictable at times though they are consistent in their need for both. These people are the ones with you in the current times and you may or may not know about the past. But it doesn't matter because you know what's happening now and what will soon be happening.

On and Off Friends.
These friends are most often doing friends for phases briefly scattered through life - but because they come and go - they know where things have been. They know the past and live in the current though the future isn't a thought and the current times may not have a complete picture. These are the old friends you get together with and have a great time with but easily lose touch only to pick up the loose ends again later on. Because they've got snap shots through the past they know you well though they don't know details connecting the storyline.

Old friends.
These friends could have been any one of the above but have been lost in the sea of time and often when they're encountered they're greeted as a friend again but only to that point and then are dropped off again. Leaving a trace of the past in mind they don't have a real role in current times- they just remind you of what past and you don't know any other word so they're called friends.

There are often overlaps but like the words extroverted and introverted they're meant to be general groups of what tends to be most true. There is no clear line- but there are tendancies to be more one than another.